“being with someone so dangerous is the last time I felt safe...”

White Oleander is a captivating movie about the bond between a less than perfect mother and her powerful and gifted daughter, Astrid. Astrid is young and impressionable, making it very easy for this dangerous mother to shape her into what she wants Astrid to become. Astrid's mother, Ingrid, is very cold-hearted to the world around her, which she views as being powerful,

"Love humiliates you. Hatred cradles you".

After Ingrid ends up in prison for killing her "lover" , Astrid is on her own in the world and forced to travel from home to home in search of both love and to find herself. Beyond being a craftily filmed movie with a plot line that will have you hooked until the end, the film is important for the many psychological principles that it portrays. Two psychological principles that I will discuss are a neglecting method of parenting and conformity.

Ingrid is a "powerful" woman, with endless judgments to express . She believes that religion, especially Christianity, makes you "Bible-thumping trailer trash" and she prides herself on her ability to think for herself. Ingrid lashes out on the world, because deep within she is powerless. She is full of so many emotions and so much hurt that she has no control of her words and actions. This is the basis behind the parenting style that Ingrid has used on her daughter. Ingrid's parenting style is neglect, my first psychological principle, which is best proven in the scene where Astrid shows up at the jail dressed as a goth. Although Ingrid thinks she knows her daughter best, she never asks what Astrid thinks, so she really does not know her daughter at all. Astrid expresses her memories of being left alone with somebody, other than her mother, when she was a small child. Ingrid is horrified that her daughter could recall this past, as she was merely a baby. Ingrid confesses to the accusation of leaving her baby alone and says that she could not handle the task of parenthood. She claims that Astrid was "latching on to (her) like a spider" and so she went to the beach where she could nap during the day and make love all of the time. In this scene, Ingrid proves to be permissive and uninvolved in Astrid's life, possibly leading to the insecure attachment that the mother and daughter are now facing. (This scene is available if you click here and watch from 0:03).


Astrid spends most of her life without a stable support system or a constant supply of love. She travels foster home to foster home in search of something that she is missing, a place she belongs. Through the different homes she goes to, each household has a different style of life that causes the young and vulnerable Astrid to mold to what's around her. The second psychological principle expressed in the movie is conformity. Conformity refers to changing and adapting your behaviors so that they are consistent with the norms around you. This principle is best expressed in the scene where she moves in with the Russian woman and her children. They are at the market where they sell clothing to make money. Astrid notices all of her beautiful dresses from Claire (her favorite foster mother) hanging up around the shop. She immediately attests and confronts the Russian mother. When a person tries to buy one of her dresses, with only a few words of encouragement, Astrid gives in and sells it for $100. This scene marks the turning point in her life, a point in which she completely lets go of her past and conforms to exactly what she sees in this new family. She starts a life of partying and wearing dark clothing and make up, just to fit in. (This scene is available if you click here and watch from 7:01).


In conclusion, through a childhood of neglect and the need to conform, the movie shows Astrid growing up and eventually becoming a woman who was able to put together all of the pieces of the puzzle that she had been missing. At the end of the film, Astrid cries when she finally admits "She let me go". Both Astrid and her mother have learned what it means to have a true bond full of love. True love means not lying for your mother to get her out of something that she did wrong. It is about sacrificing time together as a family to do what is right and best, for the first time in Astrid's life, for the BOTH of them. "White Oleander is posionous. I don't know why people grow it."



For a brief synoposis of the movie, please feel free to watch the movie below:





Quotes and other information borrowed from: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283139/quotes