Children raised under this style begin to feel that parts of their parent’s lives are more important than they are. Astrid feels that her mother’s art is much more important than she is. Based on the basic definition of this parenting style is effects Astrid very poorly. Ingrid is unable to give Astrid the love she needs and instead gives her little things that make Astrid think she is loved when in fact Ingrid is just using Astrid to make herself feel better. For example, when Ingrid puts Astrid as the centerpiece in her art piece she is giving Astrid a sign that she cares about her but at the same time she is insulting her because as Astrid pointed out all of the people in that collage are helpless and sad. Ingrid holds on to Astrid telling her “I made you. I'm in your blood. You don't go anywhere until I let you go”. She forces Astrid to conform to what she wants while giving nothing in return. Because of all of this Astrid is used to becoming like whoever the predominant person in her life is. As she goes from foster home to foster home her image and sense of self, changes as her foster parents do. She explains this to Ingrid when Ingrid is angry that she is becoming Christian like her first foster family, saying that she taught Astrid to think for herself. Astrid replies with “No you didn't. You raised me to think like you.” Astrid is unable to be independent until Ingrid lets her go, only once that happened could Astrid become her own person. Because of all of this when Astrid goes to live with her first foster parent, Starr, she conforms to her style and mannerisms and has a major lack of control over her self which causes problems later.
In the scene I chose to demonstrate this Astrid is visiting her mother in prison to talk about whether or not she will testify in court for her. Astrid realizes that for once she has the power over her mother because she has something that Ingrid wants. So she forces her mother to tell her anything she wants to know. Mainly she wants to know who “Annie”, the woman she keeps drawing is. Ingrid explains that she was a woman in their neighborhood who took care of Astrid when she did not want to.
Stopping at 5:00:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCr6DGmyL4s&feature=related
When Astrid moves to her first foster family Starr, a former alcoholic stripper who had discovered Christianity and tries to repent by becoming a foster mother, receives her. Starr lives with her three children and her boyfriend Ray in a trailer. During her stay with Starr, Astrid lives in relative harmony with her two foster brothers and her foster sister. However, she begins an odd relationship with Ray. This can be attributed to her need to feel loved to fill the void that her mother left as well as to her lack of self-control or social competency because of the way her mother raised her. Starr’s parenting style is much different than that of Ingrid’s. She is a more authoritative parent. "Authoritative parenting encourages children to be independent but still places limits and controls on their behavior. Children whose parents are authoritative tend to be socially competent, self-reliant, and socially responsible. "(King 125)
While Starr may not be the best parent she was a good one by the basic definition. She was involved in all of her children’s lives, she cared and provided for them and she had rules but not ones that were impossible to follow. One example of this is when she is talking bout how Astrid should follow the church. She says, “He who believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall live. And don't you forget it, missy.” Starr tries her best to do well by her kids, taking them to the movies and buying them clothes as well as making sure they get to school and have everything they need. At the same time she does lay down some rules so that there is order in the household. Because Astrid is not with her for long, once she leaves she goes back to her original state. But before she leaves, Astrid manages to drive Starr back to drinking and in doing so tears her family apart. Even though Starr tried to help she could not out do what Ingrid had already done to Astrid.
During the scene I chose to demonstrate this principle Starr is warning Astrid. She believes that Astrid is trying to take Ray away from her and is threatening to send Astrid away. While this may not seem nice she is only trying to protect herself and her family and what Astrid is doing is wrong. However, she shows her good side by agreeing to give Astrid another chance after she promises not to do anything to jeopardize the family.
Starting at 3:50 and Stopping at 5:50:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9Cx4a4hiUo&feature=related
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